Bohemian Rhapsody - speed camera got me!

[britboy]

To the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody...


Is this real life, is this just fantasy
Just bought the pergeot, lots of fun is ahead of me
Open your roof, put windows down and seeeeee ...
0 to 60 .. it is so easy cos its

Easy come, easy go, will I stall, don't think so

Any the wind blows, still going convertible .. thats meeeee thats me


[piano]

Mama, just bought the pug
Didn't like a roof over my head, and I wanted some street cred ..
Mama ... my savings had just begun,
And now I've gone and blown them all away ...

Mama .. oh oh oh oh ...
Didn't mean to drive so fast ..
But the thing just kept on moving faster .. carry on .. carry on ..
Cos nothing really matters ...

[wierd middle bit]

I've seen a speed-trap -- will it really flash me
He's seen a speed-trap, will it be 6 points or 3?
Driving around so damn recklessly ..

What could I say to court, at lunch I didnt had a beer
WHAT WILL HE SAY TO COURT, CAN'T BLAME EXPLOSIVE DIORERRE
COULD ACT LIKE A WIMP, AND EVEN SUM UP A TEAR?
...

Will it flash will it not, do I really know?
IT WILL FLASH HIM .. HOW COULD HE NOT KNOW?
I don't know
IT WILL FLASH HIM .. HOW COULD HE NOT KNOW
I don't know
HOW COULD HE NOT KNOW
I don't know know KNOW KNOW KNOW

[Guitar rocking bit]

So you think you can speed and no-one will see?
52 mph in a 30? You taking the pee?
Ooohhh baby! We're gonna ban you, not maybe!
Just gotta slow down, just gotta slow down maybe ..

[Slow finishing bit]

3 points do not matter .. anyone can see ..
3 points do no matter, not really to insurance companies, or me ...

Any way the case goes ....

[Duncan]

nonsence lyrics .....truely in the spirit of the original

[CB]

Fair play Britboy - I hate the original, your version is a true classic!

[lisa_mac]

Thats fantastic, just sat singing it like a looney!

[RTF]

Maybe you could sing it on the streets and raise a few pounds to pay for your fine?

[Mr_AWOL]

Better than the original, but not quite as good as the 'Roy Keanean Rhapsody'

[CB]

Better than the original, but not quite as good as the 'Roy Keanean Rhapsody'

Not heard it? Lyrics?

[Mr_AWOL]

This aint quite the same as the one i heard when it did the rounds, but nearly:

Roy Kean-ean Rhapsody

Mama, just kicked a man.
There's a screw loose in my head,
Because I tried to break his leg,


Fergie, the seasons just begun,
But now I've gone and thrown it all away!


Forlan! Ooh -ooh - ooh,
Makes me want to sigh!
We'd score more goals with Sid James or Kenneth Williams, Carry On,
Camping, The whole teams just in tatters.


Too late, my crime is done,
Tried to mangle Alfie's spine,
Now he's aching all the time,


Goodbye M1ck McCarthy, I've got to go,
Got to leave the squad behind, 'cos I'm a tw@t!


Veron! Ooh -ooh - ooh
He doesn't seem to try,
I sometimes wish he'd never been bought at all.


(guitar solo)


(Opera Section)
I see a little packaged sandwich filled with prawns,


LAURENT BLANC! LAURENT BLANC!
IS HE ON A BLEEDING GO SLOW?

Brown & Neville fighting, very very frightening indeed!!!


WHERE IS RIO ?,
Where is Rio?,


WHERE IS RIO?,
Where is Rio?,


Because Laurents far too slow! He's far too slow-ow-ow-ow-ow.....


I'm just a head-case, nobody loves me!


HE'S JUST A HEADCASE, WALKED OUT ON, HIS COUNTRY!


SPARE US THE WHINES FROM HIS GAFFER IF YOU PLEASE!


Here it comes, Open goal - Forlan must score.


HE WILL NOT!


No! He's simply got to score! (Let him score!)


HE WILL NOT, NEVER, EVER SCORE!


No! He's simply got to score!


HE WILL NOT, NEVER, EVER SCORE!


NEVER, EVER SCORE, NEVER, EVER SCORE, NEVER, EVER SCORE.........


NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!


Oh where is Rio? where is Rio ?


What d'ya mean he's stubbed his toe ?


Beelzebub take the Nevilles from my side, Oh Please ?


Oh Please, Oh Pleeeeeeeaaaase?


(Guitar riff)


So you think that I punch refs and spit in their eyes?


Would I kick Alan Shearer and leave him to die?


Oh baby, Even though I seem crazy,


I'm Roy the Red, rich, thick and madder each year.


(Slow bit)


All the guys I've clattered.....even poor Alfie!


Now I've got a Court case...........I just want to kick folk, you see

Tell me where did Mick go ?

[Mr_AWOL]

Keeping to the Roy Keane theme, i also have another that got e-mailed round a while ago, to the tune of i will survive:

At first I was afraid
I was petrified
I kept thinking we could never win
With Alfie in their side
And so I ran onto the pitch
Just thinking how he'd done me wrong
I feel strong
Is it me who's in the wrong?

And so you're back
With a court case
I just walked in to find you here
With that big bruise upon your face
I only tried to break your back
Never hit you in the head
I saved that for McAteer
When I see him he will be dead!

Go on now go. I am worth more
Just turn around now
Or I will knock you to the floor
Weren't you the ones who tried to hurt me with your lies
You think I'm mental?
Do you think I want you all to die?
Oh no, not I

I am Roy Keane
As long as I can kick and punch
Maybe then we'll win the cup
I've got cash if I f k up
Sir Alex to back me up
and I'm Roy Keane
I am Roy Keane

These petty rules do not apply to people like me
I am bigger than Man U
Bigger than my country
So I wrote a stupid book
Slagged off Haaland, it's plain to see
I am so fly
And I'll hold my head up high
And you see Keane
You see Man U
They can't live without this hero
No, no, that just wouldn't do
And so you're taking me to court
and just expect me to comply
But you forget that I am Roy Keane
So the rules just don't apply!

Go on now go. I am worth more
Just turn around now
Or I will knock you to the floor
Weren't you the ones who tried to hurt me with your lies
You think I'm mental?
Do you think I want you all to die?
Oh no, not I

I am Roy Keane
As long as I can kick and punch
Maybe then we'll win the cup
I've got cash if I fuck up
Sir Alex to back me up
and I'm Roy Keane
I am Roy Keane!