Essex Girl Jokes

[Vanda]

An Essex girl goes to the council to register for child benefit. "How many
children?" asks the council worker "10" replies the Essex girl

"10???" says the council worker.. "What are their names?" "Wayne, Wayne,
Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and Wayne"

"Doesn't that get confusing?" "Naah..." says the Essex girl "its great
because if they are out playing in the street I just have to shout WAAYNE,
YER DINNER'S READY or WAAYNE GO TO BED NOW and they all do
it..." "What if you want to speak to one individually?" says the perturbed
council worker. "That's easy," says the girl... "I just use their surnames"



An Essex girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on
the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she
says.
"Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "No" she replies. "This time
it's mayonnaise."


Essex Girl enters a sex shop & asks for a vibrator. The man says "Choose
from our range on the wall."
She says "I'll take the red one." The man replies "That's a fire
extinguisher."



An Essex girl is involved in a nasty car crash and is trapped and bleeding.
The paramedics soon arrive on site.
Medic: "It's OK I'm a paramedic and I'm going to ask you some questions?"
Girl: "OK"
Medic: "What's your name?"
Girl: "Sharon."
Medic: "OK Sharon, is this your car?"
Sharon: "Yes."
Medic: "Where are you bleeding from?"
Sharon: "Romford, mate."


An Essex girl was driving down the A13 when her car phone rang. It was her
boyfriend, urgently warning her, "Treacle, I just heard on the news that
there's a car going the wrong way on the A13. Please be careful!" "It's not
just one car!" said the Essex girl, "There's hundreds of them!"


Another Essex girl was involved in a serious crash; there's blood
everywhere. The paramedics arrive and drag the girl out of the car till
she's lying flat out on the floor.
Medic: "OK, I'm going to check if you're concussed."
Sharon: "Ok."
Medic: "Ok the how many fingers am I putting up?"
Sharon: "Oh my god I'm paralysed from the waist down!"



An Essex girl and an Irish guy are in a bar when the Essex girl notices
something strange about the wellies the Irish guy is wearing. She says,
"Scuse me mate, I aint being fanny or nuffink, but why doz one of your
wellies 'ave an L on it and the uva one's got an R on it ? So the Irish guy
smiles,puts down his glass of Guinness and replies, "Well, oim a little bit
tick you see. The one with the R on it is for me roight foot and the one
with the L is for me left foot" "Cor blimey, exclaims the Essex girl, "So
THATS why me knickers 'ave got C&A on them

[col]

cheers vanda thats woken up!!

[Ben302]

[Ben302]

A while ago someone from round my way decided to latch on to this Essex Girl stereotype thingy and launched a website dedicated to the Chatham Girl. Our local take on the Essex Girl and somehow Channel 4 got wind of it and they brought down to a really dodgy area of Chatham all of the Big brekfast outfit and did a live feed on air championing this new breed of Essex Girl, poking fun at the habits and fashion sense of the Chatham Girl. The website had over 3 million hits before it was taken down last year. Also if you type in Chatham Girl song on Kazaa you get a song written about the Chatham Girls