Why did the chicken cross the road?

nonsense and other stuff - Don't enter if easily offended !!!!!
CB
Posts: 4312
Joined: Mon Apr 08, 2002 1:00 am
Location: Classified

Post by CB »

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Arsene Wenger
"From my position in the dug-out I did not see the incident clearly so I cannot really comment. However, I do think that he gets picked on by opposition players and fans who are clearly chickenophobic."

David O'Leary
"To be fair, he's just a baby chicken really and crossing the road is just a big exciting adventure for him. He'll enjoy the experience as long as it lasts and learn from it, but I don't seriously expect him to cross it this season."

Alex Ferguson
"As far as I'm concerned he crossed the road at least a minute early according to my watch."

George Graham
"I want good, solid team of chickens who'll cross the road in a straight line when they're told and how they're told. There's no room at this club for a prima donna chicken running around aimlessly - he's not worth it!"

Gianluca Vialli
"When the fish are down, he'll just be one of the chaps. It doesn't matter to me whether he's an Italian, French or English chicken as long as he's willing to die on the pitch."

Peter Reid
"Just cross the f***ing road, you chicken f***!"

Glenn Hoddle
"The chicken was hit by the lorry when crossing the road because in a previous life it had been a bad chicken."

Brian Clough
"If God had wanted chickens to cross roads he'd have put corn in the tarmac. Anyway, I'm more interested in Wild Turkey."

Ron Atkinson
"Spotter's badge, Clive. For me, Chicko's popped up at the back stick, little eyebrows, and gone bang! And I'll tell you what - I've got a sneaking feeling that this road's there to be crossed."

Ruud Gullit
"I am hoping to see some sexy poultry."

Gordon Strachan
"I'm really proud of the wee fella. Let's face it, if it had been one of the big chickens everyone would be saying how well he'd done, but as it's one of the wee chickens it must be luck."

John Gregory
"Two months ago that chicken was saying he was happy here. Now he tells me he wants to cross the road. I feel like shooting him."

Kevin Keegan
"OK, so the chicken's dead, but I still feel, hey, he can go all the way to the other side of the road."

Joe Royle
"I can't understand why they're letting female chickens cross roads these days. They should be at home laying eggs."

Bobby Robson
"Goose, what turkey, is there a duck somewhere, where am I?"


:P
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rob
Posts: 2232
Joined: Sat Dec 01, 2001 1:00 am
Location: Belper, England

Post by rob »

Saeed Al Sahaf (ex Information Minister): There are no chickens

Major Charles (Who wants to be a Millionaire?) Ingram: I'm pretty sure it's a partridge..('cough') No! It's a chicken.

O.J.Simpson:
It didn't. I was playing golf with it at the time.

Arnold Schwartznegger:
It vill be back.

Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.

Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

Martin Luther King: It had a dream.

Capt. James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

Mr. Scott: 'Cos ma wee transporter beam was na functioning properly.
Ah canna work miracles, Captain!

Stan Laurel: I'm sorry, Ollie. It escaped when I opened the run.

Groucho Marx: Chicken? What's all this talk about chicken? Why, I had an uncle who thought he was a chicken. My aunt almost divorced him, but we needed the eggs.

Sir Isaac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross the road.

Ronald Reagan: I forget.

Mae West: I invited it to come up and see me sometime.

Plato: For the greater good.
Rob

Smart Brabus Roadster - exactly what it says on the badge

ICE DOCTOR
Posts: 699
Joined: Tue Apr 22, 2003 7:04 am
Location: South Africa

Post by ICE DOCTOR »

Bill Clinton: I did not have sexuall relations with THAT PARTICULAR chiken thats crossing the road.


George Bush: To hide its FEATHERS OF MASS DISTRUCTION..