Subject: If men answered agony columns

[Derek]

Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend
and me.



A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you!
Knowing that there is only one of you he can only
settle for the next best thing your best friend.
Far from being an issue, this can only bring you
closer together. Why not get some of your old
college roommates involved too? If you are still
apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your
friends without you. If you're still not sure then
just perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice
meal while you think about it.



Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral
sex on him.



A: Do it. Semen can help you lose weight and gives
a great glow to your skin. Interestingly, men know
this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on
him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you.
The best thing to do is to thank him by performing
it twice a day: then cook him a nice meal.



Q: My husband has too many nights out with the
boys.



A: This is perfectly natural behaviour and it
should be encouraged. The man is a hunter and he
needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night
out chasing young single girls is great stress
relief and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing
home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your
relationship better than the man being away for a
day or two (it's great time to clean the house
too!) Just look at how emotional and happy he is
when he returns to his stable home. The best thing
to do when he returns home is for you and your best
friend to perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a
nice meal.



Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.



A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband.
If you must mess with it do it in your own time or
ask your best friend to help. You may wish to
videotape yourself while doing this, and present it
to your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your
selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook him
a delicious meal.



Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.



A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and
should seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to man
is very stressful and time consuming. Sex should
be available to your husband on demand with no pesky
requests for foreplay. What this means is that you
do not love your man as much as you should; He
should never have to work to get you in

the mood. Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you can
make it up to him by performing oral sex on him and
cooking him a nice meal.





Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over
and goes to sleep without giving me one.



A: I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps
you've forgotten to cook him a nice meal.

[Robbie]

OK Derek very good, I thought I'd reply as no-one else seems to have bothered

[Derek]

thanx robbie - i was beginning to think it was invisible :rolleyes:

and before and females complain, it was a female that sent me it

[YateleyBoyz]

Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.

I thought it was in the front garden, next to the Labelia.