Statement from a BMW driver

rob · Post by **rob** » Wed Jan 15, 2003 5:29 pm

A statement from a BMW driver..

The other day I was cruising along as usual coming onto one of my motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars. First off, I couldn't believe that the volume of traffic DIDN'T slow down for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway! (The driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn.) Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane. (Why do underlings use this lane? Surely everyone knows it is for BMW drivers only?) Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 110mph enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph! Naturally, I got to within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him he shouldn't be in the BMW lane of my motorway and to get out of my way. Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me! He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car. Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes fast! Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had to take my driver's licence to a Police Station to be sent away to have some points put on! (They're not free points either - they're Â£20 each and I was only allowed 3). But the man at the Police Station said that because I drive a BMW, it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won't even NEED a driving licence, so they will take it off me! See, now THAT's the sort of respect you get when you buy and drive a BMW!

Robbie · Post by **Robbie** » Wed Jan 15, 2003 9:17 pm

Driver wasn't Mrs Bucket was it

Robbie · Post by **Robbie** » Wed Jan 15, 2003 9:17 pm

Sorry, I meant Bouquet

Robbie · Post by **Robbie** » Wed Jan 15, 2003 9:27 pm

Reminds me of my matie who flashed an unmarked vauxhall senator to get out of the fast lane.

After he was stopped he was given a grilling on the recklessness of flashing other motorists.

The conversation also went like this:

"An what if it had been an animal in the road at your speed how could you have stopped" "Er...no I couldn't have done"

"An what if it had been a boy on the motorway, how could you have stopped in time" "No, sorry officer I couldn't have stopped"

"An what if it had been a family crossing the motorway what would you have felt like" "PLEASE STOP! "

He was so traumatised by the grilling he still talks about it now.

Robbie.

Alex LS · Post by **Alex LS** » Wed Jan 15, 2003 10:00 pm

Did he get an explanation of why Mr Plod was hogging the outside lane, and why this leads to frustration and accidents?

I doubt it.

:rolleyes:

Robbie · Post by **Robbie** » Wed Jan 15, 2003 10:41 pm

I don't think he wanted to risk another 3 points.

Burge · Post by **Burge** » Thu Jan 16, 2003 1:19 pm

Just another point about BMW drivers:

I can't understand that why after forking out loadsamoney for their cars none of them choose to have the indicators fitted. They are obviously just another expensive option that BMW rip you off with but are so expensive even Beamer drivers can't afford them!!!!!!

Burge

rob · Post by **rob** » Thu Jan 16, 2003 1:25 pm

my ex brother in law and his biker mates call them 'IDIOTS IN A SAFETY CAGE' or was that Volvo drivers ??

Paul Keville · Post by **Paul Keville** » Thu Jan 16, 2003 6:54 pm

You'll find thats both!!! Most beemer drivers are tw*ts, and most Volvo drivers are dead.

Robbie · Post by **Robbie** » Thu Jan 16, 2003 8:14 pm

Thank God no ones made names for Mercedes drivers

Alex LS · Post by **Alex LS** » Thu Jan 16, 2003 10:07 pm

Posers?

Robbie · Post by **Robbie** » Fri Jan 17, 2003 1:04 pm

Paul Keville · Post by **Paul Keville** » Fri Jan 17, 2003 6:21 pm

Yer do rite kid, i would.

Robbie · Post by **Robbie** » Fri Jan 17, 2003 7:11 pm

Ben302 · Post by **Ben302** » Sat Jan 18, 2003 8:44 pm

Thank God no ones made names for Mercedes drivers

apart from the RAC and AA people who come out to start their cars once the computer shuts the engine down as happened to my bosses C class and my mates A class. They are on first name terms with the breakdown people now